Well, after reading my sister's blog on her and Ty's road to adoption, I thought, "Why can't I do the same thing only with my situation?" I would like to share my story (and Chris') so that others may be encouraged to pray for us as we also try to build a family. So here we go....I'll start from the very beginning:
Chris and I got married May 2005 and decided to start trying to have a baby right away. We "officially" started trying in July of 2005. After 9 months of no luck, my doctor decided to put me on Clomid, a fertility drug. Nothing worked with the first 3 months of 50 mg of Clomid. In July 2006 (12 months of trying to get pregnant), my doctor decided to double my dosage...I was put on 100 mg of Clomid. That seemed to do the trick. I found out I was pregnant on August 16 (I was 4 1/2 weeks pregnant). When I looked at the test, I couldn't believe it. After so many months of negative tests, finally a positive! I just started crying!
I knew that things could go wrong and that a lot of people wait until they are out of the 1st trimester to tell people, but I couldn't keep it in. I wanted EVERY ONE to know our wonderful news. When I went in for my first prenatal appointment at 7 weeks, the doctor discovered during the ultrasound that I had an enlarged yolk sac. The yolk sac is supposed to be fairly small (it's located within the gestational sac...where the baby grows) but my yolk sac took up about 3/4's of the gestational sac, leaving no room for the baby to grow. He said I would most likely miscarry. If I hadn't miscarried on my own in 2 weeks, he would do another ultrasound and possibly schedule a D & C surgery. I began to miscarry on my own the weekend before that appointment. The whole experience was incredibly painful, both physically and emotionally. The weeks and months following turned out to be as, if not more, emotionally painful. Through suggestions of others, I have found a wonderful support group through the Bent Tree Bible Fellowship Church. It is a support group meant for women who have or are experiencing infertility and pregnancy loss.
So what now? My doctor gave me the go-ahead to start trying again last month. He started me with the 100 mg of Clomid and I actually had to take off a week of school to travel to New York so that I would actually be in the same state as my husband. It didn't work. So I am trying the 100 mg of Clomid again this month and we'll see what happens. If we are unsuccessful again this month, I have made an appointment with a fertility specialist to run tests and see where we need to go from here on. My insurance does not cover ANYTHING so we are paying for all of this out of pocket. We have been approved for a financing program through the fertility clinic so hopefully, that will help make it bearable.
Please pray for Chris and I as we continue this journey. I think about the baby I lost everyday (some days with tears, some days without). I am both excited about what the future may hold, but extremely fearful at the same time. I know that it may take us many more months to conceive again and then once that happens, we may loose another. But I will continue to have faith that God will provide, no matter what that may be.